Growing professional commitments many a times result in increased levels of stress. This stress in turn affects the quality of life of the individual and his family. Delegation of responsibility to your trusted aids is very important to deal with this stress in an effective manner. This will ensure lower stress levels and also will give you adequate time and peace of mind to enjoy the fruits of your success and your money!
All of us should try and make a list and a timetable of things to be done everyday. All of us know it helps, but very few actually take efforts to make it a daily habit.
After making the list, try and rehearse the list and the time schedule in your mind. It will take hardly a couple of minutes, but it will ensure that your mind is aware of this schedule for the entire day. Try doing it from now itself and experiencethe difference it makes to the quality of your life!!
Managing your time and day-to-day stress is an art. While deciding on the policy you would like to adopt for dealing with stressful situations in your routine life, try to adopt someof the effective methods used by some of your friends and implement them as a part of your strategy.
This may help you to deal with your stress in a more effective way.
Many people are known to have anger outburst or time at again. These people because of there anger out burst, land up themselves in various difficult situations. These are the basic principles of controlling & managing your anger.
- Try and identify the events and the things which make you angry commonly.
- Try to stay away from events & things which make you angry. And if it is not possible, try to identify ways of getting the same things done in some other way.
- Whenever you start becoming aware that you are going to angry, try to walk away from that situation and stay away that situation till the episodes went away. So that the situation will not worsen further.
- You can learn various psychological technics like relaxation technics which may be helpful for controlling your anger. You can learn these technics from a psychiatrists or a psychologists.
- If you feel you have a personality profile which is don’t for anger out burst, try to stay away from the situations & the events which can precipitate these anger out burst.
- Whenever you are going to angry take few moments and ask yourselves few questions like do you need to get angry at all, what is the reason for you get angry? If you get angry, are you going to benefit or are you going to loose? If you get angry, are you going to insult or disturb or trouble people around you who care for you. try to consider these facts and control your anger to the extent possible.
- It will be good for people who get angry to get involve various hobbies and some physical games like football or other games where they went out their aggression & probably your positive development to their anger out burst.
- Start maintaining the ‘anger diary’. The anger Diary helps you to note down the events and situations which cause anger out burst & discuss with an expert methods of dealing with this anger out burst.
- These are the few of principles which are helpful in general. The best principle still says remains the same which has been taught to us by great grandmother or the grandmother, try to count 1-10 before expressing the anger. It is one of the most effective method of doing it.
- I think you are not able to control anger with these stage, probably talking to your psychiatrist may be helpful.
While interacting with your child, always remember that the events, situations and the way you respond to them, are going to be an important part of your child’s observation and long term memory.
He / she is going to relish or store these memories for entire life.
So, ensure that you try and give your child as many good memories as possible. Good experiences and their good memories will enrich the personality of your child and in turn will make him / her a much better person, as you expect.
Most of us don’t give adequate importance to the small routine things in our life. They can be like- speaking nicely to your spouse, parents and children, taking a small break or holiday with them once in-a-while etc.
Ensure that you have at least a few minutes of friendly chat daily with all your family members, e.g. Telling your wife that she is looking beautiful, expressing care for your parents, playing for a while with your children etc.
All these small things have a much wider impact on your life. These small things in turn make everybody’s life much beautiful than one can imagine.
Siddhu, studing in 1st standard was brought to me about 6 months back for being completely mute (silent) for 3-4 days. His entire family was worried and had come along with him to my hospital.
On spending time with the kid, few things were noted. He was the only child of a working couple. Apparently Siddhu had received appreciation in form of three golden stars for his school activities in prior 10 days. However, parents had not noticed this, as they were too busy ! The aaya (caretaker) who used to look after Siddhu for entire day, didn’t understand what the kid was talking about ! On Sunday too the couple had gone out for a social get-together leaving Siddhu with the caretaker. So, Siddhu didn’t get the appreciation he expected, from his parents.
The above issues were brought to notice of the parents, who readily accepted their mistake and agreed to make necessary changes in their interaction with Siddhu.
Thus, things changed for good for Siddhu…….
…… and Siddhu smiled !
Moral of the story
1) Appreciate your children for the smallest good deeds.
2) Spend time with them. Never compromise on time committed to them, at any cost.
3) This applies mainly to nuclear families with no grandparents.
- Family -however small or big – should function like an unit with some basic rules to be followed by every member.
- Each member -young or old- should have his/her share of responsibilities.
- All members should have a schedule which is predictable, atleast to some extent.
- There should be a definite time period of the day when all family members come together.
- During the period when all family members are together, everybody should avoid using mobile phones, internet or watching T.V.
- Everybody should be vocal about their problems, but with intent to solve the problem and not to insult, show down or argue with other family members.
- Listen & respect other members’ opinion, even if you may not agree with it.
- Promote a sense of ‘belongingness’.
- Every individual member’s space should be respected by all other family members. Everybody should try & pursue his/her hobbies etc.
- All major issues should be discussed openly and a final decision should be arrived upon. This decision should be binding upon all the family members.
It was about 7 pm. It was raining outside. I was waiting for my wife in my car along with our son. That’s when I saw a person, walking next to my car. I could make out that he was an alcoholic, from his swaying walk. He was carrying a brand new fan in his hand, probably stolen from somewhere !
Something interesting happened next….
As that man continued to walk, he came across a apparently well-to-do couple, who were passing by, with their two school going children approximately 12-14 years of age. The alcoholic man offered them to sell the fan for a petty sum, which probably he needed for his next drink. The husband definitely appeared to be intelligent enough to understand that this man must have stolen this fan from somewhere and was selling at a very low cost. The couple purchased the fan and gave that person the sum he asked for. A very smart deal apparently..!
I was just thinking about this incidence….
I was not worried about or thinking about the price of the fan, nor about the person purchasing the stolen fan. I was just thinking about the children of the couple.
What had they learnt and perceived from this incident and from their parents ????
What do you think ?
Creating a positive self image about himself / herself is the most important contribution parents can make to their childs life. A positive self image is established by timely appreciation for good deeds, demonstration of good moral values by parents themselves, promotion & exposure of child to good things / events arround in the society.
A feeling that ‘I am a nice & lovable person’ about himself / herself, will ensure happiness and success throughout your childs life.
Q : I am a 42 year old individual. I own a small cycle shop. Since last 3-4 years my wife has been noted to have lot of oddities in her behavior. She is keen about cleanliness which is more than an average individual. All the time she is preoccupied about cleanliness, and is noted to be cleaning the house, utensils, cloths etc continuously. Whenever she goes out, she washes all her cloths, take an overhead bath & is keen that we all i.e. myself and our two children also do the same. She washes all utensils in the house 3-4 times in a day. If anybody visits our house, after he leaves, the cleaning procedure starts again. She has to clean the chairs, bed sheets etc. She spends lot of time in the bathroom, cleaning the bathroom. She needs about one cake of soap every 2-3 days. As she spends lot of time in water, she has developed small injuries over her palms and feet. She finishes approximately one and half thousand liters of water everyday, and if there is no water, because of water scarcity, she asks for a water tanker and continues with her cleanliness program. Myself & our children are all fed up of her activities. We are unable to convince her & we have to follow the rituals even if we don’t agree to them. What do we do?
Ans : What you are describing above is a classical example of OCD i.e. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. In marathi it is also called as ‘Mantrachal’. In this illness, the patient himself is distressed to a large extent. The relatives too are distressed watching the patient doing the rituals again and again and again overtime. In this illness the patient repeatedly gets the same thought about something and starts doing an act which he continues to do repeatedly. The classical definition of obsession is repeated intrusive thought, which the patient identifies as his own thought and acts upon this thought in the form of repetitive behavior, are called as compulsions. The patient identifies these thoughts as useless, but is unable to ignore them. This illness occurs because of patient’s inability to shift his focus from one thought process to another. Due to his preoccupation he is unable to switch to any other task from the present task. With proper treatment usually patients improve significantly in this illness. There are lot of new
medicines which are available for this type of illness. But medicines alone may not be helpful, and patient may need to undertake what is called as behavioral treatment for this illness. I think your wife needs immediate intervention by a psychiatrist, and I am sure she will improve with the proper treatment.