When children between age of 6-10 years are brought to me as a psychiatrist for various reasons, many -a- times I realise that these children basically need quality time with their parents and understanding from their teachers.

Bullying in schools is a major problem. Many times, children who are bullied feel helpless. Parents too are unable to do much about it. Repeated complaints to teachers many a time lead to the child being labeled as a ‘complaint box’. These children, as a coping strategy, start becoming friendly with the back bencher ‘dada – gangs’ to control the other bullies.
A false sense of security starts setting in. The child starts believing that his parents are unable to do much for him, and his group and friends are the only ones who would bail him out of difficulties. This sets in a vicious cycle, further distancing the child from the parents. I really wish, teachers and school authorities take steps to address the grievances of these young children in initial stage itself, to avoid the behavioral problems and reckless behaviors seen in later adolescence.

• Talk to your child to understand his / her problem, acknowledging his / her fear and anxiety.
• Take child in confidence and let your child know that you are able to understand the problem and you are with him / her to solve the problem.
• Understand that each child is unique, and may be perceiving the events in different ways. Thus, avoid making comparisons. Try and avoid ‘pushing’ the child in the school without identifying and solving the core problem.
• Avoid stressful family situations / circumstances to occur in front of your child. Try and sort them in absence of the child.
• Take out some quality time with your child everyday; let your behavior suggest that you love your child and you are there for him / her always !
• Consult school teachers if child is having any school related problems such as – inability to understand certain subject, bullying, fear about some subject or some teacher etc. or if somebody is misbehaving with the child.
• In case of transfer to a new school, understand the problems such as-child’s inability to adjust with new environment, in making new friends, feeling lonely in new school, nostalgia for old school and schoolmates.
• Ensure your child a reward for maximum attendance. Explain the child disadvantages / problems child will face due to this refusal.
• Encourage your child to go to school and have good friends.
• Teacher’s should encourage children to talk to them freely / openly about their problems in the class.

Take professional help, whenever essential !

Stress Management – part 02

Stress Management – part 02

Bullying in school – 2

Translation of above marathi text :

A false sense of security starts setting in. The child starts believing that his parents are unable to do much for him, and his group and friends are the only ones who would bail him out of difficulties. This sets in a vicious cycle, further distancing the child from the parents. I really wish, teachers and school authorities take steps to address the grievances of these young children in initial stage itself, to avoid the behavioral problems and reckless behaviors seen in later adolescence.

Bullying in school – 1

Translation of above marathi text :

Bullying in schools is a major problem. Many times, children who are bullied feel helpless. Parents too are unable to do much about it. Repeated complaints to teachers many a time lead to the child being labeled as a ‘complaint box’. These children, as a coping strategy, start  becoming friendly with the back bencher ‘dada – gangs’ to control the other bullies.

If we try and identify the root causes for arguments between family members – especially between husband and wife – we realize that there are never more than 4-5 issues which need to be addressed. If these issues are dealt with logically with an effort to resolve the core differences, life may be more simple, easy and enjoyable. The relationships too will be more accommodative and complete. Probably we may be able to avoid some divorces !